FULL NAME: Hawthorne Trapper John Quackenbush
NICKNAMES: He is not under the illusion that he is cool enough to be called Hawke.
AGE/DOB: 15 / February 29 / Pisces
YEAR: Sophomore
BLOOD STATUS: Halfblood, Full Chaos
GENDER/PRONOUNS: Male, he/him
SEXUALITY: 
HOMETOWN: Cranberry Glades, WV
The Cranberry Glades of West Virginia is an area thick with magic. For generations, a small community of wizards made their livings harvesting potent (but unstable) potions ingredients, wand woods, and magical creature products from that little cluster of peat bogs, hidden high in the Alleghenies. That's the way it was until somewhere roundabouts in the Fifties, when the MACUSA came a-knockin', offering to buy the land wholesale out from under everyone there. Most folks in magriculture were going broke those days, and they jumped at the chance to climb out of the bogs and live life on dry land—but not the Quackenbushes.
All but for that one sliver of land owned by one stubborn family, the entire area is designated for use by the MACUSA Bureau of [REDACTED]. Highly confidential (and highly volatile) experiments are known to be performed there day and night, and security is shall we say bananas tight.
APPEARANCE:Hawthorne Quackenbush is a weed of a boy, tall and thin and defiantly postured. He knows he stands out, that he doesn't belong, but he dares you to try and uproot him. It's a strange look on someone so sweet-faced, bespectacled with an expression often full of wide-eyed curiosity, but everything about Hawthorne is odd angles, anyway, so it's at least on theme.
While he strives to be neat and at least somewhat put together, Hawthorne is utterly incapable of not spilling everything. And since the young man is never far from a pot of ink or a set of paints, he is often splattered and smudged. His wardrobe is a mixture of dark colors (hide stains well) and tie-dye (it's already colorful!). I suppose you'd call his sense of style "just trying to live his life in this accursed body."
HEIGHT: 5'11"
BUILD: Beanstalky
PB: Benson Jack Anthony
INSPO: Pinboards/Moodboards
Never let it be said that Hawthorne Quackenbush is certain of anything. Of course, neither is he prone to skepticism or disbelief. ~Anything is possible~ to Hawthorne, which sounds optimistic, but, like, if you think about it? That statement includes explosions and embarrassment and horrible death. So. Mmmaybe not.
Still, there is probably less than an ounce of doubt to be found in him overall. My advice to you, though, is not to mistake that surety for confidence. He is open to all possibilities, ready to say “Yes, and...” to any statement, but not particularly convinced of his own rightness. His is a potent and volatile cocktail of wide-eyed scientific curiosity, foolish courage and sheltered naivety. He’s easily influenced by the people he trusts, and he is much freer with his trust than his family might like. So much for all those years of paranoid homeschooling. Scoop onto all this a heaping helping of brilliance, and you wind up with the most foolish smart person you’ll ever meet.
Having lived a life so wholly shaped and guided by generations of Bad Luck Curse, it would follow that he might be a little cautious, a little reticent. On the contrary, sometimes it seems that The Curse makes its will manifest through him, often even more so than through his siblings. Where Cedar and Willow might stumble into chaos, causing it when trying to avert it, Hawthorne seems to actively initiate it. He is the cat who looks right at you and knocks the glass off the table after you have told it not to twice. His life is full of uncertainty, and he is driven to fill in those uncertain gaps—to
see what will happen. He might’ve done well in Mothgarden. Maybe he should’ve gone there. Maybe Berzelius could’ve stopped him from—Oh, who am I kidding? There’s nowhere this kid could’ve gone where his predilection for chaos would’ve possibly been sanded down into anything good.
It sounds pretty rough, but he is not a bad person. More a baby mad scientist in need of steering to the Light side of the force equation. His intent is never to hurt, though he is often driven to inconvenience others: being difficult, getting in the way, “trying to help” (which is code for exploiting his curse to hinder others). That “ire” is reserved typically for those who are impatient with him or with Cedar or Willow. Hawthorne is fiercely protective of loved ones, and patient and doting in his own way. Not quite openly affectionate, but he likes showing he cares in small ways, and tolerates an awful lot before losing his cool.
Despite growing up in relative isolation, Hawthorne has done a fairly good job of making friends outside of his immediate social circle. He can find something to like in most people, and enjoys meeting and making new friends. Since he is so curious, he asks questions—careful, polite questions, generally—and seems to listen as he receives his answers, which endears him to others. Still, he is an introvert. Social situations tire him out, and his Me Time is important. Hawthorne is nearly inseparable from his siblings, but from time to time he needs to go off alone, recharge and separate himself from the Quackenbush Unit. He likes remembering that he is an individual.
Hawthorne fancies himself independent, but it doesn’t take careful observation to see that while he is usually the first of his siblings to step up and take decisive action, it’s almost always prompted by the will of someone else. Hawthorne’s a doer, brazenly bold once his choice is made, but he needs someone to reassure him that his choice is right to begin with. A bit like a well-loved old car that maybe needs a certain ritual involving a kick and a bit of key jangling to get started, he needs a very delicate touch. But once he’s going, boy, watch the fuck out. That kid is four tons of steel barreling downhill with brakes that work about half the time.
FUN FACTS:
🎨 MBTI: I-something / ENNEAGRAM: 4w5
🎨 Hawthorne is a vegetarian, and his practice extends to potions brewing. He's constantly on the look out for plant-based alternatives to common potion ingredients.
🎨 Left-handed.
🎨 Has been bugging Mr. Berzelius about auditing Alchemy for two years now. Mr. Berzelius reportedly laughed until he choked on his own spit the last time Hawthorne asked.
LANGUAGES: English. The triplets also developed a language they called Tree Talk when they were eight, but it’s yet to be recognized by any linguists of note.
HOBBIES: Mixing this and that, pigment making, accidentally burning himself, adding explosions to thinks that don't normally have them, oil painting, graffiti
SKILLS:
PAINTING: Calling this a skill may be a bit generous. Hawthorne has no great gift for painting, but he enjoys it immensely; the colors, the mess of it, the feeling it evokes. He particularly enjoys oil and spray painting, and particularly does not enjoy water colors or acrylics, despite wanting desperately to be better with at least water colors. Mostly, his "skill" gets put to use decorating projects he and Cedar have collaborated on.
POTIONS & PIGMENTS: Here is where Hawthorne really shines, a regular potions prodigy, although he has very little interest in bottling powerful spells like Felix Felicis or Polyjuice. Hawthorne's interest lies in ingredients—making, mainly, magical inks and pigments for his and his siblings' creative projects. Hawthorne is constantly trying to come up with new magical colors for painting, in particular. Things that glitter or glow or change when applied. He enjoys cooking up fertilizers, spell components and fuels, too. Especially the fuels. Who doesn't love a real good explosion?
SCIENCE NERD: Any Potioneer worth their salt is going to know Chemistry, but Hawthorne has taken a special interest in mundane sciences, particularly the biological branch and his extensive reading and research has made him a font of knowledge that is, largely at this point, useless. His mother hopes that maybe this means he'll eventually give up the foolish art thing and become a doctor, but she also knows none of them are that lucky. Instead, he seems to be poking his nose into figuring out how to smash science and art together in interesting ways.
COOKING THE QUOD: Hawthorne Quackenbush has a preternatural knack for knowing how long a quod has before it'll blow on its own. While certainly he can be wrong, it's almost as though he's so used to how things feel when they're about to turn sideways that he knows when a quod's time is almost up. He's very good at getting it out of his hands (or out of the hands of a better player on his team and into his own) just before it explodes. If he keeps up flying practice, he might make it to varsity eventually.
THE QUACKENBUSH CURSE: The exact opposite of a blessing, actually, the curse that runs through his family's blood affects Hawthorne in all aspects of his life. Though he is not a clumsy person, one could be forgiven for thinking him so, constantly breaking things, slipping and falling, failing to complete simple tasks efficiently. The Bad Luck Curse of the Quackenbush Clan does exactly what it says on the tin. Hawthorne is a regular Charlie Brown.
FAMILY:
Burl Quackenbush Father, Wandmaker of Ill-Repute, cursed
Meat Dad has a soft spot for his only son, and while Hawthorne doesn't want to admit it, he's eager to please. Taking up Quodpot was the result of gentle nudging from his father to try something athletic. It's little things like that that show that Hawthorne and Burl have something approaching a normal relationship.
Margarine "Marge" Quackenbush Mother, cursed by association or perhaps in her own way
Marge's parents named her Margarine (as in, I can't believe it's not butter) because they thought it sounded pretty. That basically set the tone for the rest of her life. Hawthorne thinks his mom is the best mom in the world.
Cedar & Willow Quackenbush Siblings, cursed
Tree Dad
There's a tree in the backyard of their home back in The Glades that Cedar refers to as "their real father." Hawthorne is very much open to the idea that the three of them were cleaved from a tree in the backyard, but he'll need to see more evidence, first. Anyway, it's kind of weird building a house and playing inside of your dad, maybe.
BACKGROUND:You’d think, for three kids who’d been cursed through no fault of their own, life would’ve been one great big hullabaloo. Head-spinning action, nonstop mayhem. But, really, there’s not
too much to get up to in the middle of goddamned nowhere, West Virginia, even when you live next door to a “secret” MACUSA magical research facility. The Glades was the best place for a trio of tykes with a cursed bloodline to grow up. There were problems, sure. Beyond the kids, themselves, just being danger-prone, the family was always suffering some sort of comical misfortune. The only blessing Burl and Marge Quackenbush would ever receive is that none of their three exhausting children would ever injure themselves too badly. Not for lack of trying, of course.
Hawthorne was born second. A perfectly sturdy spot to be in, the very middle, and perhaps that is why he fancies himself the resolute one, the breaker of ties. And also why individuality has always mattered a bit more to him, not wanting to get lost in-between his siblings. Aside from all the chaos, their upbringing was rather idyllic. The family lived sustainably off the land, making money for what purchases they needed to make through the family wandmaking business. Hawthorne was happy, enjoyed homeschooling — though he found the lessons on science far more interesting than the lessons on curse safety — and was nigh inseparable from his siblings.
Nigh inseparable because he liked his alone time, liked to wander into the woods by himself, or go and hide with a book or a sketch pad. Hawthorne always needed his space and his time, to recharge from everything going on around him. Quieter, maybe, than Cedar and Willow, but don’t mistake that for being any less trouble. It was his siblings who had all the best and wildest ideas, but Hawthorne was the one to soldier forth, try and test what Cedar and Willow had posited. If anything, Hawthorne and his messes and his fearless hurtling toward destruction like a train with broken breaks tended to cause the biggest problems. Quality over quantity, if you will.
Naturally, fearless Hawthorne was very eager to start high school. As I said, he liked homeschooling well enough, but he was curious about what was going on outside the family land. While Cedar fretted over how the uncursed might deal with the Quackenbushes, Hawthorne saw only an opportunity to define himself in the world. So going to Peckenpaugh, as every Quackenbush had done before him, was endlessly exciting. And though he and his siblings continue to trip, and spill and lose, lose, lose, he hasn’t yet regretted leaving home for high school one bit.
WAND: 11", hawthorn wood, hardened ent sap core. As a Certified Quackenbush Wand, Hawthorne's wand is a disobedient disaster stick that he struggles to command. The wand chose its wizard, but that doesn't mean it's going to make things easy. This wand, prone to backfires, has forced Hawthorne to approach spellcasting more deliberately than he might've otherwise.
FAMILIAR: Butter Nut the Cat
CAREER GOALS: Kind of in that nebulous "I'm going to be an artist!" stage that parents dread.
PART-TIME JOB: N/A
CLASSES: Hawthorne is a distracted student. Terribly smart but cursed and unfocused in all but his favorite classes. He is prone to losing track of class by letting his attention wander, or in labs by getting caught up trying his own thing (and causing disaster as a result). Given how smart he is, his GPA leaves a little to be desired, but his athletic eligibility has never been threatened.
CHARMS: Not his best course, nor the one he finds most interesting, Hawthorne sails through Charms because he knows it's full of the most vital spells for a young wizard to learn. He'd much rather be doing anything else, though.
(H) POTIONS: Mr. Berzelius is one of the few instructors at this school able to really grab Hawthorne's attention in class and as such he does extremely well in Potions. The fact that Potions is Hawthorne's favorite subject is certainly part of that, but the fast pace and (literally) explosive nature of the class keep him on track. It helps, also, that Hawthorne looks up to Mr. Berzelius.
TRANSFIGURATION: In theory Hawthorne likes how straightforward numbers and equations and Transfigurations are. In practice, the number crunching turns his head into a swamp and he has trouble focusing. You can often find him in class with his head turned toward the window, and that is reflected in his grades.
(H) ARTIFICING: Another beloved class. Excepting the fact that his creations tend to go haywire, Hawthorne does quite well in Artificing.
ASTRONOMY: Space is really cool? And so is Mr. Hobgood?? But homework isn't fun, or easy to remember to do, so Hawthorne's grades in Astronomy tend not to match his actual knowledge on the subject.
(H) HERBOLOGY: Just like Potions, Herbology comes pretty naturally to Hawthorne as it's a subject of personal interest to him. He's easily distracted in class, though, which does not go over well with Ms. Treetops when she's grading. It's a shame, because he's got a huge crush on her.
(H) HERMETICISM: Though this is another numbers heavy course, Hawthorne takes a great deal of joy in the fact that the numbers are a little more applied. He struggles with getting all the extra homework done, but his grade in the class is strong enough to maintain his honors status.
AESTHETIC MAGIC: After Potions, his favorite course is Aesthetic Magic. He hates feeling like he's disappointed Mr. Potkin, though, and he often feels like he's disappointed Mr. Potkin, somehow. Hawthorne's true talent is clearly in mixing interesting paints and inks, but he's an alright painter.
EXTRA-CURRICULARS:
Quodpot (Junior Varsity, Kestrel)
Magirobotics
A/V Club
Duelling & Sport Wandwork
SORTING?: The idea of splitting from his siblings was simultaneously terrifying and thrilling. Cedar had already gone on ahead, popping out on Mothgarden's side before Hawthorne entered the cave. He knew where to go if they wanted to stick together, and it took a great deal of hemming and hawing at that final door to really decide. His own trek through the path had placed him well in Mothgarden, Wildgulch and Deeplurk, with Deeplurk's door illuminated. It was a tough choice, but if Hawthorne wanted to distinguish himself, as he so desperately does, Deeplurk would be the place to do it.
NAME: jenny
EMAIL: check the player list
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THE QUACKENBUSH CURSE
Not Curtis Jonker. When his Quackenbush wand backfired during a family argument, he didn't take it too well. Humiliated by his wand's disobedience, Jonker went back and quarreled with the wandmaker. He wanted to kill him, but he settled for cursing Woody-Ray Quackenbush with bad luck for the rest of his days. But with that hot-headed wand, he did more than that. Instead of cursing the one Quackenbush with which he had a bone to pick, he cursed every last one of them.
Every descendant with Woody-Ray's blood in their veins finds themselves on the wrong side of Murphy's Law at all times. Bad luck and chaos dog their every step. They are Sims with the Unlucky trait, a busted King Midas, the guys you want at the front of the party to trigger all the booby traps. If something can be broken, they will break it, and there's a 58% chance it will end in a hilarious obituary, so maybe don't sit next to one of them on a rollercoaster. Many attempts have been made to break, or at least manage the curse over the years, and all to no avail. Turns out curses placed by a wand from the Cranberry Glades ain't no joke.